Spaceship

I had to know you to let you go, you said. It had to be in this way, you repeated while were next to each other. Why you never asked before, you continued while holding my hand. And it is the way, I thought while you were speaking in fast German, just for yourself.  It had to be while you are leaving, it had to be just now. It had to be in the corridor, it was your lazy moment. It had to be just one coffee, it had to be one kiss. It had to be in your sweet Spanish, and it had to be one more kiss. It had to be in your blue eyes and in that crazy smile it had to be. It had to be just one more drink, in your place or in mine it had to be.  They were a thousand of things after the door. It was just no blouse, it was out of jeans, and it was just your shyness while naked it had to be. It was just do fuck me, it was I really liked that, it was all while I almost forgot your name. It was just one more time and later one more.  And it is how it supposed to be...

I am completely jealous! You cried.  Could someone else be the girl of the poetry?! Who's the girl in the poems?!  You asked in that crazy tone while the tears were falling down. Could someone else receive that love? Can someone deserve your thoughts? Will another girl deserve your imagination? It is disgusting, you said as a reproach. Because all your reality is not the half of all your written words. I have dreams where you're writing about me. I have mornings when I think I deserve your happiness. I have wet fantasies in which you describe the feeling of my lips and the magic of my kisses. I have nightmares about your abandoning the melancholy of writing about something else. And in the end, I always have the half of you. I want to be the girl for whom you will go through deserts. The one of the flowers, the one of the rum. I want to be the one that you describe with the delicacy of the finest touch, I want to have all your stars, and I want al...

It's your name. It's always your name. It's the beginning of all trouble, it's the end of all the right things. It's just your name. That rare combination of 7 characters, the number that defines luck. It's your name what I always shout so loud when I'm walking home. It's just my hope to see you in the next corner.  It's your name what makes me smile to the screen of my phone. It's just brilliant and shiny when everything is gone. It's your name in the typos of my writing, and it's your name even in the soup making a word. It's your name in every language, and it's your name on every song.  It's your name what lives in all my dreams, and it's your name the first thing that is gone.  It's the first thing stamped in your passport, it is my password on every platform.  It is my luck in seven letters, it is also light on the horizon 

A way long to go you said, a casual number in the middle of the night. Maybe, why not? 9-0-2-3 days in time, decomposed or summarised, always about you. They're 24 years since I realised you were real, just like the morning of my childhood that you came to my dreams and blown my head up. 24 years more to understand all the tricks that live in just one second of your magic. 8 months the time I would walk to find you. Double time if we have to change our place once I'm done. Here or there, in the middle of the jungle or near the border of the earth. 8 months I also needed to finish everything the first time since I saw your smile in the corridor until the moment I asked you to stop. 2 weeks the time I will live in your lips when I see you. 2 weeks more to hear your stories while I see every funny expression you make in the climax of your thoughts. 5 days for you to complain about why I'm hugging you so much. And 5 days more cuddling in total retaliation. 11 hours...

Perfection lies below the six rib, just in the belly. Perfection comes from the right to left, goes down to the hips and never ends, though it has definite limits. It looks at in good shape. It is stylised and well defined. It has lines where they should be and fantastic curves that change the place you are. Perfection can be held in your hands, but its very nature is free. It feels soft and tender. Each piece of it can be touched thousand times, and it will feel different, new, alive. It has shone in the body hair, they're so delicate that can be almost imperceptible, so touchable that it is sweet.  Perfection has a scar because that's what perfection should be. Round, cute, just in the middle. Some furtive decoration there drives to heaven. It has delicate borders, mountains, valleys. It seems you have all geographical regions in that small place, just in the point of your fingers. It seems that infinite has reduced to the touch of my hand. Perfection moves at a consta...

Then cover it with salt. Put all my feelings inside, fuel them with my soul. Burn every known memory, treat them with electric shocks. Cut every piece of my dreams, and later smash them all. Disappear all the ashes with an incredible blow. Burn everything behind now because there's no way to go on. It's been enough of being better, enough of going stronger, it's enough for attempting one day more.  The battle has been lost in one night, the position in the war has never been compromised before. But it was so simple to lose everything, and everything now is gone. You just appeared again, in my dreams again, in my nights again, just in the same train waggon. Nothing special, just your face, just your eyes and your infinite charm covering all. And I promise I tried, I really tried not to look at, not to feel that not to talk to you anymore. And I promised not to hold your hand, not to help with your luggage, not to hug you one time more. And everything aft...

Me dices mientras te muerdes los labios. Justo en el momento en que sabes que no podré decirte que no. Desayuna conmigo porque no tendremos un desayuno más, suena en tu lacerante voz de las mañanas. Siéntate junto a mi aunque sepa que no podrás verme una vez más, que no podré ir en auxilio de tus pesadillas. Desayuna conmigo mientras me miras a los ojos. Dime que ahí vive el mar, el cielo y todo el universo que no has visto jamás. Cuéntame de interminables batallas en mis párpados y de alucinantes bosques de pestañas. Come algo mientras tratas de buscar lo que hay en mi alma. Cuéntame de las inmensas explosiones en mis pupilas y pregúntame de las formas que no acabas por descifrar. Mientras me convencen tus ojos de que tengo una que no ha muerto ya. Desayuna conmigo mientras tomas mi mano, mientras me sonríes un poco. Recorre con ella mis brazos y hazme de nuevo tiritar. Baja poco a poco y llena espacios con tus dedos. Dibuja corazones y miles de formas más, después acerca mi mentón co...

Voices off you said. I was trying to control my breath when those words came out. I tried to ignore it for one moment. I was moving again when those powerful eyes looked at me. With seriousness, you repeated: voices off! I stopped. I was intrigued, confused. I wanted this for so long, and you said the worst possible combination of words. I didn't understand. Could you feel it? You asked in the soft tone that drives me crazy. Feeling what? I asked confused, trying to kiss your shoulder again. Could you feel the silence? You repeated intrigued. Could you feel the silence? I asked, annoyed because it would not end well. How could you feel the silence? I ask in a challenging tone, convinced that the last bottles of wine have been a total waste. Feel! You said while taking my hand into your breast (we are going back to interesting stuff, I thought). What do you think? It says my name, I answered with no hope. Maybe, you said while your eyes were holding just in front of mine. M...