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Culpables

Esta noche me confieso culpable. Soy culpable de ser joven y tener ímpetu de vivir, de desear y creer que todo es posible. Tambièn me declaro culpable de soñar y anhelar, de buscar en tus ojos cada noche y en tu sonrisa la siguiente mañana. Soy culpable de mirarte por las tardes, despacito y sin que te des cuenta. Soy culpable de tu buscar tu perfume con cualquier pretexto y entonces morirme en la ansiedad de no poder tomarte para mi. Soy culpable de provocarte para continuar el momento, de soñarte en las fiebres repentinas de mis noches y de llevarte para siempre, muy cerca esperando que no te des cuenta, o tal vez si...

Soy culpable de lo que siento, sin importar nada más de lo que pase. Soy culpable, tal vez culpable sólo de ti...

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Fears

I'm afraid of becoming different. I'm fearful of one morning being another person, of thinking too much, of questioning everything and trying to get away melancholy. I'm terrified of knowing everyone, of saying hello to all those people and remembering their names, of not being timid, of being a kind and friendly person the people says I am. Of course, I am not that. I don't keep a smile on my life; neither is nice nor sexy. I am too worried about thinking all time, about the conversations with myself and the healthy practices of waking up early, reading a lot, exercise and not eat meat. What will happen to me in this way? What will I become on this road? What will I do with the vacuum of no pain? I don't want to be that handsome guy, I don't want the cute smiling I see on the mirrors every morning, I don't want to smell sweet. I don't know what is happening; I don't know what is different now. I want my obscure Mondays; I need my unsolved dramas, th...

It had to be

I had to know you to let you go, you said. It had to be in this way, you repeated while were next to each other. Why you never asked before, you continued while holding my hand. And it is the way, I thought while you were speaking in fast German, just for yourself.  It had to be while you are leaving, it had to be just now. It had to be in the corridor, it was your lazy moment. It had to be just one coffee, it had to be one kiss. It had to be in your sweet Spanish, and it had to be one more kiss. It had to be in your blue eyes and in that crazy smile it had to be. It had to be just one more drink, in your place or in mine it had to be.  They were a thousand of things after the door. It was just no blouse, it was out of jeans, and it was just your shyness while naked it had to be. It was just do fuck me, it was I really liked that, it was all while I almost forgot your name. It was just one more time and later one more.  And it is how it supposed to be...