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Finding you

I want to find you. Just here and there, like the moments we never had. I want to feel you, fresh as the air of the season, coming and going away. I want to see you blooming while you smile, drinking tea and asking for the next wine.
I want to find you when you're looking at yourself, thinking you're not fit enough, denying to the mirror you're the most perfect woman ever existed. I want to feel your hair smelling like roses, long and bright, straight, soft and crazy like moments you have.
I want to find you in a casual way, buying flowers, eating bread. I want to touch the long of your legs, while you're describing the future and building emotions we know won't be there.
I want to see your radiant skin, those horrible jeans, the non-sense messages of your shirts.  I want to find the sun in your arms, reflecting the light with those golden hairs. I want to see your dark moments, also the brilliant ones. I want to see this light that makes me crazy to see you one more time.
I want to find you, and I don't know where you are.

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Dear JC, It's peculiar, isn't it, how the mind clings to memories, especially those we wish to forget? Some nights, I find myself ensnared in a web of dreams, each thread woven with echoes of you. You, who dominated my thoughts, still reign in the kingdom of my nighttime musings. I remember, with an unsettling clarity, every encounter, every word, and every smirk. The way your laughter would echo down hallways, a haunting melody that played on all my strings. The cold glint in your eyes as you found new ways to assert your dominance, your power, unyielding and absolute. In these dreams, I revisit those days, each detail meticulously preserved in the museum of my mind. The corridors, once mundane, now seem like twisted labyrinths in my dreams, with you as the ever-present Minotaur, both feared and revered. Sometimes, I wonder if you ever think of those days. Do you ever recall the weight of your words and actions? Or have they dissolved into the ether, insignificant and forgotte...