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Ser o no ser

Cuando lei a Conrad por primera vez encontré la fórmula perfecta para entender la vida, o por lo menos parte de ella. En el famoso "vivimos como soñamos: solos", pensé que se encontraba la exageración más grande que un marinero solitario decimonónico puede escribir de manera coherente. Pensé que para escribir algo así se tuvo que perder unos meses en el Atlántico y después en una enmarañada consecución de ríos para entender que de lo que estaba huyendo era de la desgracia de su vida, pero creo que jamás estuve tan equivocado.


Uno no necesita perderse por tanto ni tan lejos para poder estar de acuerdo con tremenda afirmación. Es triste entonces que yo escriba esto justo el día que conmemoraba mi nacimiento. Pero prefiero sacarlo ahora que decidir que me acompañe por mucho tiempo. Voy a ser injusto nuevamente, pero creo que he creado tanta soledad que despedirse de ella es casi tan imposible como dejar un mal hábito o una buena adicción.


Vivimos porque es parte de nuestra naturaleza hacerlo. Es algo que no buscamos concientemente y cuando superamos ese límite natural, encontramos a la cobardía (o fortaleza) amarrándonos a la sensación de vida (dejando fuera la noción de "mas allá").

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