Ir al contenido principal

Inconvenientemente obvio

Sabes, mi mente ha decidido no dormir... y es que no puede soportar las discusiones que ocurren dentro, que nunca salen y que se hacen cada vez menos sanas. Pero en fin, en medio de todo lo que pasa dentro... estoy buscando la paz afuera, sabes... me dio por escribir de ti...

Y es que en noches de insomnio... eres lo que pienso. No sé si debiera escribir esto sabiendo que es una responsabilidad inmensa el hecho de que lo leas, porque es noticia nueva que lees lo que pongo. Pero en las noches de insomnio, la irresponsabilidad no suena tan mala compañía.

¿Qué pasa con lo que pienso?

Tal vez nada, porque justo antes hay un momento que me saca del trance de la determinación absoluta, me vuelve a la realidad y desata la ola de ecos emocionales intensos detrás de los que se esconde la profunda ansiedad de perderse en el miedo. Y es que tal vez pienso en ti porque tengo miedo.

¿Qué busco al pensar en ti?

No sé si busco paz, porque en millones de instantes juntos es lo que menos tengo... puedo correr con la intensidad de un abrazo, con la ternura de un beso o la inesperada locura que se te ocurrió segundos antes... pero paz no hay más que cuando miro tus divertidos ojos... que si puedo dejar de pensar en ti...

Es casi como preguntar si puedo dejar de respirar... puedo tratar por unos cuatro minutos antes de asfixiarme... puedo hacer que mi mente se llene de otras cosas, pero jamás quitar las cosas vitales...

En fin... tenerte en la mente nunca será mejor que tenerte en vivo... pero es lo que queda cuando las circunstancias nos superan...


Te quiero mucho

Sorprendido de que mayo no tenga ni una entrada.

Comentarios

Entradas populares de este blog

Las noches magicas de… Hamburgo #hamburg #sunset #derspiegel #night

via Instagram

Fears

I'm afraid of becoming different. I'm fearful of one morning being another person, of thinking too much, of questioning everything and trying to get away melancholy. I'm terrified of knowing everyone, of saying hello to all those people and remembering their names, of not being timid, of being a kind and friendly person the people says I am. Of course, I am not that. I don't keep a smile on my life; neither is nice nor sexy. I am too worried about thinking all time, about the conversations with myself and the healthy practices of waking up early, reading a lot, exercise and not eat meat. What will happen to me in this way? What will I become on this road? What will I do with the vacuum of no pain? I don't want to be that handsome guy, I don't want the cute smiling I see on the mirrors every morning, I don't want to smell sweet. I don't know what is happening; I don't know what is different now. I want my obscure Mondays; I need my unsolved dramas, th...

It had to be

I had to know you to let you go, you said. It had to be in this way, you repeated while were next to each other. Why you never asked before, you continued while holding my hand. And it is the way, I thought while you were speaking in fast German, just for yourself.  It had to be while you are leaving, it had to be just now. It had to be in the corridor, it was your lazy moment. It had to be just one coffee, it had to be one kiss. It had to be in your sweet Spanish, and it had to be one more kiss. It had to be in your blue eyes and in that crazy smile it had to be. It had to be just one more drink, in your place or in mine it had to be.  They were a thousand of things after the door. It was just no blouse, it was out of jeans, and it was just your shyness while naked it had to be. It was just do fuck me, it was I really liked that, it was all while I almost forgot your name. It was just one more time and later one more.  And it is how it supposed to be...